


Literally Too Stupid

by midnightmagicc



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempted Kidnapping, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Oblivious Hinata Shouyou, Some Plot, Team Parents Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:35:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28268496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightmagicc/pseuds/midnightmagicc
Summary: The story where Hinata is actually too idiotic to be kidnapped.  I mean it.Or:  Sugawara slowly loses his sanity as his child manages to do some pretty stupid stuff
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou & Karasuno Volleyball Club, Hinata Shouyou & Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 88





	Literally Too Stupid

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in the car rn soo why not, first time writing on phone

Life with Hinata Shouyou isn't easy. It's complicated, disastrous, and a complete mess. He's a dumb idiot who could break an arm and laugh at it for bending like "one of those bendy stick thingies."

As Sugawara pales, Nishinoya screams, and Daichi reprimands, Hinata stares on with confusion. What'd he do wrong? Why was everybody acting so weird?

Yamaguchi looks on with concern in the corner, while Tsukishima simply looks away with a scoff, muttering a few curses under his breath. He was concerned too, of course, just not as much as "team mom" over there.

Ennoshita sighs in annoyance, gripping Tanaka's jacket as he rolls up his sleeves and attempts to go find the man that started this chaos. And beat him up. Because what the _fuck?_

Asahi clenches his shirt with anxiety, his mind racing through possibilities that could've happened if he wasn't so...stupid. He could've died, or gone missing, or a shit tone of other things. It was a bit obvious what the man's intentions were. 

Kageyama pinches the bridge of his nose, squinting down at him with disapproval. Of course, he was worried too, but not as much as he was angry.

So how did we get to this? Well, to find out, we're gonna have to rewind to just a few minutes ago. Maybe half an hour? 

Oh, and buckle in. Because just a few idiotic decisions can spark a disaster. 

* * *

Karasuno was doing their stretches in the gym, a little weary. It was 10 minutes after practice started, and Hinata was nowhere to be seen. His definition of late would be getting there when practice actually started, so this was a bit concerning.

"Did he go home early or something?" Ennoshita asked.

"I just saw him at last period. There's no way he'd forget volleyball practice, it's the only thing on his mind." Kageyama replied, scowling. That idiot was late, they couldn't practice their quick. 

"He isn't the only one, you know." Tsukishima snickered. 

"Shut up."

Sensing the tension, Yamaguchi chipped in, "I saw him in the hallways on my way here. He's still somewhere on campus."

"Should we go look for him?" Asahi asked, feeling worried and a bit shaky.

"Nahh. Shouyou can pull through! He'd never miss practice, I bet he's gonna pop in anytime." Tanaka laughed.

And, almost on queue, Hinata entered the doors. Well, more like he bursts through them. Asahi jumps, and Nishinoya laughs at him.

Kinoshita whipped around to look at Tanaka, "What are you, a psychic?" he asked.

"Pfft. Nah, idiots have similar thought processes." Tsukishima commented, making the gym share a slight chuckle as Tanaka and Nishinoya yelled back a cluster of words that wasn't really understandable.

Kageyama sent a fierce glare toward Hinata, spitting out, "You're late."

"I know, but it was important! But I gotta run back quickly, so I gotta ask. Do you guys want some candy?" Hinata asked, staring up at everybody with a smile and a twinkle in his eyes. Of course he'd ask if they wanted any. 

Did anybody actually want candy? Well, not really. Maybe Nishinoya, but he's always hungry. Still, something about his face left no room for denial.

"Uhm...sure? Did you bring candy?" Sugawara asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope! But that guy outside said he'd give me some! I'll go back and get it, be right back!" Hinata cheered, turning around to race back.

"Wait, Hinata!"

"Huh?"

"How exactly did you find somebody offering you candy?" Daichi asked, fairly suspicious. 

"Maybe they thought he was cute!" Nishinoya added. It wouldn't be too far of an idea. Many people often stopped him in the street or in the hallways to talk to him.

"Oh! Well, I was walking to practice when this _suuuper_ nice guy drove up to me! He asked me if I wanted any candy, so I asked if there was enough for the team! He said there was, but I had to get it from the trunk since he couldn't reach. I was gonna help him there, but I forgot to ask you guys if you wanted any candy! So do you want any?"

The gym went silent. Nobody spoke. Sugawara was noticeably paling. Asahi gaped in fear. Nobody could bare to say anything, too shocked.

"Hey, Hinata..." Ennoshita choked out.

"Yeah?"

"...Did he drive up in a van?"

"Yeah! How'd you know? Are you some kind of secret magician!? That's so cool!" Hinata's eyes twinkled with admiration for the second year.

Silence.

Before all hell broke loose.

"Hinata Shouyou! What the _hell?!_ Have you not learned even a small bit of safety?!" Daichi yelled.

"Ouch, first name." Kinoshita winced from the sidelines.

"Huh?" Hinata asked.

"Do you know how _dangerous_ that is?! You could've gotten hurt!" Sugawara piped in.

"Hurt..? But It was just candy. How could candy hurt me?" He tilted his head to the side, and the team groaned. He seriously didn't realize that he was in serious danger there. Hadn't his parents taught him about stranger danger? Or, well, anybody?

"I think I'm losing years off of my life span." Sugawara paled. 

"How about we have a nice long talk today about why that's _not_ okay, okay?" Daichi smiled a terrifying smile, making the team collectively shiver.

Hinata started sweating. Oh, he was dead. He was dead and he didn't even know what he did.

By now practice had been canceled. Maybe not officially, but nobody could focus after Hinata's _almost kidnapping._ If he hadn't thought of the team, who knows what could've happened.

"Oh _hell_ no. Nobody tries to get our little crowd and gets away with it." Tanaka smiled, though nothing but pure bloodshed was contained in it. He pulled up his sleeves, ready to pounce toward the doors. He was quickly stopped by Ennoshita, who grabbed him by the back of his jacket.

Yamaguchi stood next to his best friend, watching the scene ahead. It was scary to think that his friend almost got kidnapped. Tsukishima looked away, but Yamaguchi could still see the well-hidden concerned look in his eyes.

Nishinoya started screaming insults toward the guy, and plain screaming in general. Hinata was his kouhai, so no way was he going to standby and let this just happen.

Hinata simply stared onwards as he was yelled at from quite a few directions. Yeah, this is where his life comes to a close. Thank you all for coming, but it's too late for him.

The chaos was cut short by the door opening. Everybody's heads snapped to the door, blinking as the eyes of Coach Ukai stared straight back.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?"

Well, they're all dead now.

* * *

Life with Hinata Shouyou isn't easy. It's complicated, disastrous, and a complete mess. He's a dumb idiot who could break an arm and laugh at it for bending like "one of those bendy stick thingies."

Still, they have to admit, Hinata is the sun to their sky, he brightens their lives and spreads positivity. He always makes sure everybody is included and doesn't once put himself before others. 

So I guess, with that in mind, the chaos wasn't too bad to put up with. 

But, my god, was there a lot of it. 

And they'd be having a very long talk about safety.

Oh, and Hinata isn't allowed to be alone outside anymore. Not at school, not on his walk home, not on the train. Nowhere. Because if anything else had happened? You could bet the Karasuno volleyball team would be playing six feet under.

Still though, despite it all, they couldn't help but smile as Hinata sent them a cheery grin, entering his house.

_He's chaotic, but he's worth it._

**Author's Note:**

> hey guyss, ik its kinda short but I got bored soo-
> 
> leave requests in the comments, and see u next time!


End file.
